Women suffering from urinary incontinence (UI) have a lot on their minds. Not only do they have to plan a day’s outing around convenient bathroom locations, but they also have to worry about wearing bulky pads and preventing embarrassing accidents. In fact, according to a study by the National Association for Continence, 78% of women suffering from stress urinary incontinence were fearful of smelling like urine. The same percentage worried about soiling the furniture at a friend’s house.

And that’s only the public aspect of urinary incontinence. In private, women with UI deal with a very different problem: the effect of their UI on the men in their lives, specifically their spouses or lovers. UI and sex often don’t mix, and many women are afraid that their spouses or lovers will be “turned off” by urinary leakage during sex. The result? Less sex.

UI and Sex: A Vicious Cycle
According to gynecologist Amy Rosenman of the UCLA Medical Center in Santa Monica, California, women who experience UI during intercourse feel anxious about it, which could eventually lead to sexual dysfunction, even in the most stable of marriages.

Imagine this vicious cycle. A woman is afraid of leaking urine during sex but is too embarrassed to discuss it with her spouse, so she avoids sex. Her spouse, unaware of the situation, feels hurt and rejected. Relationship issues arise, and when the couple does have sex, the encounter is less than enjoyable.

Or, if a woman is confident enough to discuss her UI issues with the man in her life, the result may be no better. One study, published in Social Science and Medicine, indicated that under certain conditions “having an incontinent wife put men at greater risk for depressive symptoms.” Another study shows that, among older couples, men are readily affected by their wife’s health issues, especially if the couple is close.

A Personal Look
How does a husband really feel about his wife’s UI issues? Here’s what one hubby said when asked about the subject.

“My wife lost her interest in sex due to the pelvic floor problems. She suffered from urinary incontinence after each of her three pregnancies. I didn’t see her incontinence as offensive but I felt helpless to solve the problem, even though I was the first person she confided in. I know my wife was very frustrated as she could no longer exercise and lost interest in sex. She got very little help from her ob/gyn when she asked for help. I’m glad that she eventually educated herself and took matters in her own hands. She started doing Pilates and using pelvic floor weights.”

What to Do?
What should you do if you are one of the men or women described in this blog post? Get help! UI is not a terminal condition, and there is a world of help waiting for affected women. Check out our “Is This You” section to learn more about the different kinds of urinary incontinence and how you can get help.

Is This You?