Women suffering from urinary incontinence often feel frustrated because they ask for help but don’t seem to get it. This isn’t surprising since, according to the American Urological Association, requests for help with urinary incontinence often get “lost in translation” at the doctor’s office.

For instance, a doctor may ask a patient if she suffers from urinary incontinence, but she may not understand the terminology and just says, “No.” So the woman doesn’t get the help she needs for her urine leakage symptoms. In addition, only about 50% of women suffering from urinary incontinence ever seek help, and only 23% of primary physicians ask their patients about this condition. The result? A lot of unnecessary wet panties.

How Request for Help Get Lost in Translation
During a recent seminar co-sponsored by the National Association for Continence, experts stressed the importance of women taking active steps to communicate clearly with their doctors. They listed many different ways in which a woman’s request for help for her urinary leakage symptoms could get lost in translation. Examples include:

Different Words
Many women don’t understand medical terminology or know what is considered normal when it comes to frequency of urination. A woman who makes many trips to the bathroom might say she does not suffer from urinary incontinence because she does really understand this phrase. She may just think that she goes to the bathroom a lot, not that she has a medical condition. Unless she tells her doctor that she “goes to the bathroom a lot” this conservation never goes any further, and the woman doesn’t get the help she needs.

Making Light of the Situation
Some women arrive at their appointment prepared with a list of questions about urinary incontinence. However, when the issue of urinary leakage is raised, they find themselves too embarrassed to discuss, and make light of the situation. They might laugh it off or make a joke about it. Again, end of discussion.

Doorknob Requests
Women who are embarrassed to discuss their urine leakage with their doctors often can’t bear to bring up the subject until the end of the appointment—literally when their hand is on the doorknob of the exam room and they are ready to leave. At this point, desperate for help, they may turn to their doctor and finally raise the issue. Unfortunately, this late in the appointment, the doctor rarely has the time to engage in a serious discussion or offer serious help, so the patient again does not get the help she needs.

How to Avoid Getting Lost in Translation
If you truly want to and are ready to address your urinary incontinence, there are definite ways you can avoid getting lost in translation when you finally arrive at your doctor’s office. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Be clear about the reason for your appointment when you schedule it.
Practice saying the words “urine leakage” or “urinary incontinence” if you have to so that you can easily say these words when you book your appointment.

2. Write a list of your symptoms.
Bring the list with you to your appointment. The list should include the number of times you use the bathroom, how often and how much you leak urine, under what circumstances you leak urine, how long you have experienced symptoms, and what steps you are currently taking to cope with your symptoms. Also be sure to include any medications you are taking.

3. Bring a friend to your appointment.
If you think you might chicken out when it comes to actually discussing your symptoms with your doctor during the appointment, bring a trusted friend or family member. Tell your “buddy” in advance what you want from your visit. Your companion can then remind you what you planned to discuss with your doctor if you forget or become too embarrassed.

Once you get past the barrier of actually asking for help, you will find the rest of the process much easier. Your job, as a responsible advocate for your own health care, is to ensure that you clearly make your request for help to your doctor. If you don’t understand what your doctor is asking or telling you, ask for clarification. Keep asking until you get the information in words that make sense to you.

Finally, if you don’t get the satisfaction you seek from one doctor, look for another. Check out our tips for finding the right doctor for you here:

How to Find the Right Doctor for Your Urinary Incontinence